HEARTS DESIRE

I have known a very special person that built my life for almost 28years. It was a blessing in my part knowing the person without any blood relation at all. When I was in my mothers womb he was already there waiting for me. When I started to grew up he was there providing me with all my needs. He was a perfect grandpa for me. We eat together, sleep together and travel together during summer vacation. I am very abundant with everything during those times. When I got married he was there to witness me walked in the aisle. I time he ask me if I will cry if he dies...I said yes. But I never realize how painful it will be if it happens. Years have passed he started to feel weak. I never missed a day asking for his condition considering that were miles away. I have prayed that if God will take him may it be peaceful and light. Until one day I received a text message that he have passed away. That was one of the most painful news I've ever heard. Tears want to dropped on my eyes but I prefer not to cry. I took a deep breath and pause for a while. I ask God to gave me strength and help me understand why he have to passed away. I want to take the last flight and see him right away. But I know its impossible. I have waited for weeks just to see him for the last time. My tears were dropping fast even when I'm still kilometers away from him. I started to reminisce the memories that we have shared. He was one of the person whom thought me of how to face life with dignity. As the bible says:

Psalm20:4

May God give you your hearts desire and make all your plans succeed.

It was like a dying situation when I started to step on the stairs to him. The most painful thing is to see him for the last time. I was broken into pieces, I hold my emotions I started to move closer to him. I was whispering to God to help me stay calm. I looked closely to his face. And as I see him everything was in peace. I thank God for I've seen. He was calm and happy. Maybe that was really a plan from God. I wanted to tell him how much I value the chance of knowing him as my grandpa. But I know only winds can hear me say. And the most painful part, I never have a chance to pay back what he gave me.

I know he sees me struggling for my life now. And I hope he will able to see my hearts desire. That even in the darkness side of my life he will always be a part of my memories. My past,present and future. His teachings will always be kept in the deepest part of my self. I may not able to tell you this before you go but I love you and I miss you with all my heart. Thanks for the chance of knowing you in my life.