CHRISTMAS BALLS

Christmas balls were my sons favorites. he love to play with it. That is why if you go to our house our Christmas tree is empty with Christmas balls. he treat it like balls. Throw it out and dribble it.

I want to scold him but in some other ways, he is still young to understand why we have Christmas balls on our Christmas tree. They were still innocent of what is Christmas all about.

There innocence beautifies our simple Christmas celebration. It reminds us of our childhood. It is a self fulfillment seeing them happy even if we have nothing really special on Christmas time. They were excited to see Christmas lights and colorful decors. The best word I heard them is a big "wow".

Single word like that already made us fulfilled. Hope this is just a start of a happy Christmas all thought out the years to come.

MY CHRISTMAS WISH

Like others, I also have my wish during "Simbang Gabi". Its been my practice since I was in first year High School.

I have my most unforgettable experience with my Misa de Galeo wish. It was actually Dec.16,1997 when I wish to be a class valedictorian. I am aiming because my father told me that if ever I can make it He will be the one to put on my medal. I am really happy for that deal and I strive hard since then. It has been my long time wish to see my papa proud of me.

Believe it or not after 9 days of hearing the mass at dawn, I finally made it in March 1998! It was really a dream come true. I don't know if I really deserve it but deep inside me I know it was Gods best gift for me. It was a prize of all the struggles that I endeavor because after all these years God knows my emotional and spiritual combat for life.

THE FINAL MESSAGE

I lost my father without saying goodbye...

It was a painful moment when I heard over the phone the news about my father. As if I was paralyzed from my post. Unable to say anything with an empty mind. I am miles away from my papa with he left me. I want to fly and see him immediately, my mind was telling me to go home and papa was just sleeping and I can still save him.

As if my whole body was numb. It took me hours to realize that I was not dreaming at all. It was one of the painful event of my life. Nothing can describe the pain, it was the pain of all pains...

That was actually 6 years ago but his memories still remains fresh. He was the light of my life. He makes me understand why I should live a life away from them. I was afar from them since I was 5 years old until I finished college. And our time and chance to bond with each other was just very short. I was really longing until now hoping my papa to be alive.

I missed the chance of telling him how much I value the small chance that we've been together. That was the time when I realize that our time is important.

If only I could recall the time, I would probably revised our happenings with my papa. I would extend the chance that God gave us before. I would deepen the bonding that we have started and give-off myself for all the luxury of our time.

But then all of these was just my dream. I can never have the chance again.

Somehow I tried to understand why God gave me this pain. I just lift up everything to Him because I know all of these have a purpose. I just can't resist to think...what if I was beside papa when he died? What could be the last words he'll say?

I was still living with His presence until now. The pain was still there in the deepest part of my heart. The tears was still fresh in my eyes. Until now there is still the tears of longing and regrets as well...Regrets that I was not there on his last breath.

But I know his happy now.

I know his at peace.

I just hoped that if I go to where he is now, He can still recognized me. I love you papa and I miss you....

MY CHRISTMAS WISH

The year 2008 was just perfect for me. It was ended a meaningful year considering the many blessings that happened in our family. First, my husband got his perfect job. Second, I gave birth to our little princess aaliyah. Third, I've got my new job. In a way I have nothing to ask for more. Although there are really times that we are financially down but God always gave us ways and means so we can move on.

I just want to thank God for all the good things we have now. A perfect home for a tightly bonded family is what I have. I don't want to miss even a single second away from them. My kids were the perfect gift God gave me and my husband presence strengthen the bond of a perfect couple and a perfect family as well. Though, there is no such thing as perfect..but what else should I say? I've got a financially conscious husband and a smart kids!

They were in fact my glory, they are Gods reflection and perfect presence in my life. I just wish that God will continue pouring me all the goodness and blessings that He bestowed for me for this year.

I know with all the trials that we encounter, It is where we develop the strongest love we had for each other. After all the pains and sufferings, we are still together and moving forward for more spices of our marriage life and family as well. The pains made us more closer and open to each other. It directs us to hold on to God and ask for His guidance more.

Without Him we are nothing. Maybe there is better plan God prepare for us.

For my family all I wish is just good health and healthy living so we can face tomorrow with better living. And be an example to other families as well.

CHRISTMAS IS ON THE AIR

Days run fast....I can't believe it but Christmas is coming. Its been 20 days more to go. I have mixed emotions over Christmas now.

First, I have to spend it away with my mom and sis since I have my own family. I don't know how would it be like to spend Christmas with my husband and kids. This is actually our first time to celebrate Christmas in our house. It would be very exciting I guess.

Second, my husband wants us to go home and celebrate it with my in-laws. Yet its very irony then since we will again leave our home for the second time.

After many days of deep thinking, I already decided not to go home to our hometown. Its better for us to stay in our house and enjoy the holidays with our kids. Maybe this is one of Gods plan. Whats more important is our bonding and love to each other.

We have to face the next year with hope and wisdom, because I believe nothings more important to a family that stays together. Maybe some part of us would miss the joys of our yesterdays, but as we move on to the next chapter of our life...we have to be independent and stand to our own.

We just hope that "time" will understand our longing to be one. Nevertheless, It maybe lonesome to some extent but on the other side, It is ended the right thing for us.

We just pray that this coming Christmas will mend all the pains and lead us to brighter tomorrow and greener pasture.

TO BE A CHRISTIAN WRITER

It is difficult in my part writing things that I did not fully understand. I have so many questions in my life. I am a Christian and yet I do not read the bible often. All I can remember that was 18 months ago when I last read the bible. But I am aware of few teachings of God.

I don't know when was my eagerness to write started. All I can remember, I just wake up one morning decided to become a part time writer. I was very disappointed when I receive a comment that for now I can't be a writer, "my write-ups are still irrelevant". I thought I can never write again. The pain was turning my hearts into pieces.

But as I started reading some articles I started to feel my urgency to write with nothings important on my mind. I really don't know how would this story go, but I just feel like writing nonsense in a way.

I thought I already know God by all means, but when I started to read some articles I felt very small. I am not even familiar with 5 verse in the bible. I was wondering then if I can still be a writer after all these things.

I am a neophyte,amateur and ignorant creation maybe. I was thinking, am I really worthy to become a writer? or was this just a dream?

I hope that this would not just be a dream. Because I know deep in my heart that maybe God is planning something for me. And I am still in the process of discovering His plan for my life. Maybe my dream of becoming a writer is Gods plan so I can tell the whole world of life's beauty and mysteries.

Maybe if I will continue my call in writing, somebody will help me out and take me up of my shell so I can write more for God. I was really praying each day of my life that may somebody guide me on my dreams to write.

This is a call, I may be pioneer for this profession but I want to strive hard to hit the mark of my dreams.