The boy and the girl

This were Genesis and Aaliyah Mae. The 2 year old boy is my eldest and the 6 months old girl is my youngest. I think this enough now. With two angels in my life, I feel very blessed having two beautiful creations of God.

ORDINARY WOMAN

I am an ordinary woman
with an ordinary man...
We lived with our kids
in a place where we coincides things...

I work in an office as well as my husband
after office we loved to go out to watch a band
I would always wear a headband
to remind me of my favorite band

When we go home we'll brought a cake
that my kids love to eat
I always dream to bake
but my time is always at stake

We will talk nonsense things
and just enjoys each other stories
We will wait for the to 9pm
and when the clock strikes
we will go to bed and see for the next day.

The silence of wind sweep the white sand. You can never hear a single voice of a human. It was so peaceful. In fact it was a deafening silence. I have never dreamed to lived in there. But I don't know how it happen, I was right in the middle of nowhere standing in the white sand facing the water and with nobody around. I was alone! Yes I was alone. I pinch my nose and it hurts...I was awake! And this in not a dream either. I was hungry and thirsty . I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to swim. Where should I go and what will I do. My answer is "I don't know". I looked up the sky and watched for the clouds. I was staring up high waiting for answers of what is happening to me. Will God take me from where I am now? Who will save me from this place? Does He know that I am here? If I don't move I will die thirsty and hungry. So I started to walk with no direction at all. I decided to go north. I just told myself "come what may". My mind is working fast, there was so many questions that wants answers immediately. But I thing for sure I still want to lived. I have to move on and find the way for help. That moment I was hopeless and tired. I sat in the sand and close my eyes for a while. And in my dream I saw a man. We was also walking in a place which is very familiar. That was the island where I am now! His eyes was full of hope. His face was very peaceful and His talking to me! His telling me to wake up and walk fast and follow Him. The wave reached my feet...I woke up and realized it was Him. It was God who help me realized where to go and what to do. From that day on I have never think of my life without any future. Life is full of mysteries that helps us grow mature. It s either a bed of roses or a bed of thorns yet these joys and sorrows were the measurement of our courage and wisdom to search for our life's purpose. Until now I am still seeking for many answers but the power of wisdom help us understand the essence of our life. Things may turn out to be happy and sad. But the best way of knowing our strength is on how we fight for the painful part of our life. It is where we can see the strongest part of ourselves. Our quest for life never stop until we die. Our life will continue to combat for another phase of mysteries. We will just hold on to Him and He will do the rest.

HEARTS DESIRE

I have known a very special person that built my life for almost 28years. It was a blessing in my part knowing the person without any blood relation at all. When I was in my mothers womb he was already there waiting for me. When I started to grew up he was there providing me with all my needs. He was a perfect grandpa for me. We eat together, sleep together and travel together during summer vacation. I am very abundant with everything during those times. When I got married he was there to witness me walked in the aisle. I time he ask me if I will cry if he dies...I said yes. But I never realize how painful it will be if it happens. Years have passed he started to feel weak. I never missed a day asking for his condition considering that were miles away. I have prayed that if God will take him may it be peaceful and light. Until one day I received a text message that he have passed away. That was one of the most painful news I've ever heard. Tears want to dropped on my eyes but I prefer not to cry. I took a deep breath and pause for a while. I ask God to gave me strength and help me understand why he have to passed away. I want to take the last flight and see him right away. But I know its impossible. I have waited for weeks just to see him for the last time. My tears were dropping fast even when I'm still kilometers away from him. I started to reminisce the memories that we have shared. He was one of the person whom thought me of how to face life with dignity. As the bible says:

Psalm20:4

May God give you your hearts desire and make all your plans succeed.

It was like a dying situation when I started to step on the stairs to him. The most painful thing is to see him for the last time. I was broken into pieces, I hold my emotions I started to move closer to him. I was whispering to God to help me stay calm. I looked closely to his face. And as I see him everything was in peace. I thank God for I've seen. He was calm and happy. Maybe that was really a plan from God. I wanted to tell him how much I value the chance of knowing him as my grandpa. But I know only winds can hear me say. And the most painful part, I never have a chance to pay back what he gave me.

I know he sees me struggling for my life now. And I hope he will able to see my hearts desire. That even in the darkness side of my life he will always be a part of my memories. My past,present and future. His teachings will always be kept in the deepest part of my self. I may not able to tell you this before you go but I love you and I miss you with all my heart. Thanks for the chance of knowing you in my life.

REACH FOR THE SKY

Knowing God is easy to do. But reaching God is difficult to achieve. I knew Him for quite some time but until now His works remain a cliche in my understanding. There were things happened in my life that I feel down and hopeless. I can never understand those moments when I have to give up a piece of me for another reason. It was a vague misfortune. But life doesn't stop there. I have to awakened from my stay with the darkness and catch for the new day. I was fearful to fight but the light from above keeps on reaching me so I can face the day with another future. It was not easy at all. The sweat from my forehead were dropping fast. I heard voice from afar, saying something I don't understand. I started to visualize things to the way it should be but all I see is the abyss brightness. I stretched my hand and tried to hold the light yet it become more brighter that I can no longer see it. My eyes where closed and my tears dropped. I don't know whats all these things but I know deep in my heart that God is talking to me. I was hopeless of where to ask for answers. Day by day I never knew whats next with my life. I fear God and I strive to be as good as I could be. But until when would this be? Have been looking for answers from anywhere. Each time that I fall I ask God to answer me. Each time that I wake up I ask God to lead me the right way. All these things were not clear to me. But the inner most of me directs me to believe what my heart tells my mind. The feeling is extravagant. The presence is always there. I may not see Him but I know on that bright side of the world He was waiting for me to carry all my struggles and to cheer me with my journey.

Innocence of a child

After all the hard things of struggle, we can never tell where our life lead us. Though it is tough sometimes yet some things eases the pains and hardships. These are the jewels of my life. Their innocence overwhelm my life and encourage me to move on and fight for life's purpose.